I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm both gender and math confused
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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