it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
