I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
