i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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