Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
