the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
