He is an equal opportunity slut.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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