just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
