I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
