I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
