doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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