i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
