This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
