look no pants
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize