Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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