you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize