I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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