yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
