So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i out mim tonsoeep
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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