"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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