I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
