I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
