margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize