Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
