dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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