so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
