I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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