Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
