are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
