Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
