At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
