it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
