I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
