No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
