talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
