What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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