Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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