After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
