no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
