I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
