First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
