I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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