I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize