Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
from now on my penis is your penis
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
