It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i think im in europe. pls send help
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
