you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
