the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize