got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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