I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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