remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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