i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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