evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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