Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
