new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think my moral compass just broke
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
