Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
