I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
sex in a hospital.. check
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize