so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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