I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
