so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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