I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
