We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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