You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
